Adaptive Cooking

Let me start out by saying that I really love my girlfriend. I really, really do. It's that special heartfelt connection embodied by the fact that things that some would view as flaws, become the most cherished traits of the person you love. Ashley is truly amazing, and the fact that she puts up with me is even more remarkable. With that being said, I must confess to have just recently worked through a long standing resentment associated with her eating habits. What could cause such caustic reaction in association to the girl I love (besides my general thickheaded behavior, which is a given)? Well let's see....she doesn't eat seafood. I know, I know, it's hard to believe, but oh so true. And potentially even more devastating to our otherwise blissful relationship is the fact that she is adamantly opposed to spicy food.

Let's briefly travel back in time to my younger years, where I grew up near the shore in Connecticut. Before you go imagining a picturesque beach house, resplendent with nautical memorabilia, understand that my family was working middle-class. Growing up near the shore meant that our town was on Long Island Sound, and we were within a fifteen minute drive of the water. But that nearness to the beach, the saltwater, and its bounty meant that I grew up eating seafood, and it became a staple in so many of my eating memories. The Captain's Galley restaurant where fried seafood and onion rings were a religion. Weddings based around real New England clambakes. My father overcooking massive slabs of swordfish (though at the time I thought it was great). Lobsters whenever the prices were down. Getting New England clam chowder at every roadside restaurant from CT to Nova Scotia just to compare. Shrimp cocktail at Christmas. My eventual introduction to sushi. I loved it all, and I still do. It feels like seafood is in my blood, though I rarely have a chance to eat it. On the rare occasions when we eat out, we simply never go to restaurants where fish would be the highlight of the menu. I'm not going to suggest we go to a sushi bar where I get to indulge in one of my favorite things to eat, while she is forced to order a sub par version of chicken yakitori. And at home I continue to crack myself up daily when I ask her what she wants for dinner, then follow it with the suggestion of fish. Somehow it's still funny to me.

With spicy food I may fare slightly better, because I can always kick it up at the end with a sprinkling of this, or a dollop of that. Believe me when I tell you, I am not one of these post-frat freaks who get off on turning their frayed hat backwards and diving into a pile of wings that was listed on the menu as being covered in Gonad Exploding Supernova Hot Sauce. I just love a little heat. Not heat for heats sake, but to enhance the food. Give me a bowl of noodles and a jar of homemade Thai Fish Sauce with chilies, and I am a happy man. Crushed red pepper in fresh tomato sauce...yes please! Sichuan anything...but of course. Sriracha on the pork buns at Momofuku...I couldn't agree more. Spicy salsa on my tacos...gracias! But alas, it remains a solo pursuit that I don't think will change anytime soon.

So what does that leave a man to do when donning the apron for the evening meal? Adapt. Here's the thing (BLD), I love to cook for other people. The act of feeding someone else is a noble act in a world that has lost much of its nobility. And of all the people in the world, there is no one I would rather feed than Ashley. So I cook things that I know she will enjoy. There has certainly been experimentation with her palette; new ingredients, flavors, etc. But I'm not making Sichuan hot pots and presenting it for dinner with the disclaimer that it's something she should try. In the process of cutting out seafood and heat, I've become much more adept at cooking other things, which has been a bonus to my spicy seafood celibacy. Just remember to cook for those you love, with them in mind, and everything will be okay. I just hope I don't forget how to cook a piece of fish.

Let's Grab A Bite To Eat

Let me start off by saying that I love to eat out at restaurants. I love the going out ritual, the sojourn (as me and my girlfriend like to call it) to unknown neighborhoods, the atmosphere, the comfort of being served. There isn't much to not like about the activity, except for one small thing...the food. Prepare yourselves, as I am about to make a rather bold statement. Most restaurants aren't very good. That's right, I said it, and believe me, I stand by that statement 100%. So what exactly do I mean, since I will admit to it being a rather broad stroke of the brush (or pen I suppose). From where I sit, which is most assuredly not at a table in a fine dining establishment, the food at most restaurants in the mid to low price range is fair at best. Maybe to some people the food seems great, and maybe I just haven't been to enough restaurants, or had the experience of ordering take-out for 90% of the meals during my twenties. But I can tell you this much, I have been eating at restaurants since I was five. The point being, I've logged some real-world experience. I've had great times with great people. I've laughed, I've loved, I've gotten drunk (in my younger years). I've admired trendy design elements, and recieved brilliant service from out of work actors who should accept the fact that being a great waiter or waitress is an honorable career (just ask the French). But how many times have I had really great food?

Chain restaurants are bad, almost across the board, despite the fact that many are no bargain. I sometimes imagine the corporate heads of all the chains gathering in a secret room somewhere to craft their menus....

"Ok Bob, you do the Chicken Fingers with ranch sauce, and we will do it with buffalo sauce, and Chili's over there will do it with chipotle sauce (the Bobby Flay effect, wherein chipotles have become the ingredient of choice for chain hacks)." "We will make a burger that is as close to a hockey puck as possible, and you will too. Except we will put mayo on it, and you will use a seeded bun." "And don't forget guys, the oriental chicken salad is a must!!!" "We are all going to serve tons of fries with virtually every entree, let's just make sure they are undercooked, undersalted, and essentially inedible without mounds of ketchup. We need complete compliance on this one."

Are there exceptions to the rule that chain food is bad? I suppose there is, but in my mind the list is pretty short, and even these are servicable mainly when convenience is paramount to a successful meal. Smashburger makes a tasty burger indeed, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to know where their meat comes from. Chipotle is fast, reliable, tasty, and made with pretty decent ingredients. But the truth is a really good taqueria will always be better. I don't even mind P.F. Changs (I know, it's slightly embarrasing) for its middle of the road Asain flair, it's ability to go down smooth and leave you feeling full then empty in mere minutes. But real Chinese food it is not.

What might be even worse is the fact that most independent restaurants aren't very good either. Don't get me wrong, there are many good restaurants out there, but in comparison to the amount of bad ones, it seems quite clear to me that the scales are tipped in the wrong direction. The restaurant business is incredibly tough, and I give all the credit in the world to those who show up day in and day out and cook, but that doesn't mean I have to like the food they turn out. Maybe I'm picky, maybe I'm a snob (pretty sure the answer is no), or maybe I just find myself leaving restaurants feeling slightly ripped off (BINGO!). Or maybe I think I could do better (Triple Letter Bonus!!). Is that an incredibly arrogant thing to say? Am I totally kidding myself? Maybe. It's just that I have made many incredible meals at home that were infinitely more enjoyable than most of the restaurant experiences I have had in my lifetime. Simple food, using the best ingredients I could get my hands on. My own two hands, using tried and true techniques that some of the great chefs of the world have taught me (through books of course, though it would be pretty cool if Batali or Ripert was chillin at my counter showing me the way Yoda style). Plus I get to pick the music! What's the lesson that I have learned? Eat at home more often. Make eating out something special, not a way of life. If you need a jump start, read Cathy Erway's book The Art Of Eating In, and you will be inspired to find your own passion in the kitchen (it is a great personal story that is wonderfully written, I read in in two days simply because I couldn't put it down).

What are some great restaurants in my humble opinion? Find out soon.