I find myself living in the desert, otherwise known as the Phoenix metro area. The fact that I live in the desert is never lost on me, because I always seem to circle back to the idea that humans probably shouldn't live in the desert. 1.5 million of us are congregated in a sprawling metropolis that relies on a river that doesn't actually seem to exist. When it is 50 degrees out people fall into a panic, lighting fireplaces, and wondering when winter will break. The extensive Mormon community in the area laughs at the rest of us, knowing that their extensive food stores can be used to get them through the apocalypse, or a week where the first digit on the thermometer reads four. I get dehydrated here sitting on the couch. That is not an exaggeration, it has happened repeatedly. Trees are like mythic creatures that people speak of in hushed tones, like unicorns or yeti, or an intelligent cast member on a reality tv show. It goes something like this, "oh my god, your street has trees." The house I live in has a backyard.....of rocks, and the wealthy keep up with the Joneses by installing plastic grass on their property (they also seem to spend an inordinate amount of money on really bad plastic surgery. Have any of you ladies looked in the mirror lately? If you did you would realize that there is some progress to be made by doctors in this area) But for all the things here that seem different to me, like the fact that a large swath of the population refuses to acknowledge that we have a half-black president, Phoenix holds it down it many areas. I have come to know some amazing people who have embraced me (not an easy task), and made me feel at home here in the Valley of the Sun.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
The Modest Cook Lands In The Desert
The Modest Cook returns! I have been on a bit of a hiatus, but I'm back, and I'm better than ever! After receiving so many letters from my fans in the Ukraine, begging for my return, I could no longer deny the public my pointed opinions. They are a persuasive bunch and I wanted to satisfy the demand before dancing ensued. So here goes, the Modest Cook 2.0, no longer in New York, but still holding it down for everyone who will listen.
I find myself living in the desert, otherwise known as the Phoenix metro area. The fact that I live in the desert is never lost on me, because I always seem to circle back to the idea that humans probably shouldn't live in the desert. 1.5 million of us are congregated in a sprawling metropolis that relies on a river that doesn't actually seem to exist. When it is 50 degrees out people fall into a panic, lighting fireplaces, and wondering when winter will break. The extensive Mormon community in the area laughs at the rest of us, knowing that their extensive food stores can be used to get them through the apocalypse, or a week where the first digit on the thermometer reads four. I get dehydrated here sitting on the couch. That is not an exaggeration, it has happened repeatedly. Trees are like mythic creatures that people speak of in hushed tones, like unicorns or yeti, or an intelligent cast member on a reality tv show. It goes something like this, "oh my god, your street has trees." The house I live in has a backyard.....of rocks, and the wealthy keep up with the Joneses by installing plastic grass on their property (they also seem to spend an inordinate amount of money on really bad plastic surgery. Have any of you ladies looked in the mirror lately? If you did you would realize that there is some progress to be made by doctors in this area) But for all the things here that seem different to me, like the fact that a large swath of the population refuses to acknowledge that we have a half-black president, Phoenix holds it down it many areas. I have come to know some amazing people who have embraced me (not an easy task), and made me feel at home here in the Valley of the Sun.
I find myself living in the desert, otherwise known as the Phoenix metro area. The fact that I live in the desert is never lost on me, because I always seem to circle back to the idea that humans probably shouldn't live in the desert. 1.5 million of us are congregated in a sprawling metropolis that relies on a river that doesn't actually seem to exist. When it is 50 degrees out people fall into a panic, lighting fireplaces, and wondering when winter will break. The extensive Mormon community in the area laughs at the rest of us, knowing that their extensive food stores can be used to get them through the apocalypse, or a week where the first digit on the thermometer reads four. I get dehydrated here sitting on the couch. That is not an exaggeration, it has happened repeatedly. Trees are like mythic creatures that people speak of in hushed tones, like unicorns or yeti, or an intelligent cast member on a reality tv show. It goes something like this, "oh my god, your street has trees." The house I live in has a backyard.....of rocks, and the wealthy keep up with the Joneses by installing plastic grass on their property (they also seem to spend an inordinate amount of money on really bad plastic surgery. Have any of you ladies looked in the mirror lately? If you did you would realize that there is some progress to be made by doctors in this area) But for all the things here that seem different to me, like the fact that a large swath of the population refuses to acknowledge that we have a half-black president, Phoenix holds it down it many areas. I have come to know some amazing people who have embraced me (not an easy task), and made me feel at home here in the Valley of the Sun.
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