Best Kale Chips.......Ever!!

Crunchy and delicious

I have proclaimed the virtues of kale chips in the best, but it is time to get people producing these morsels of joy. Whatever you do, please do not pay $8.99 for a tiny container of disgusting packaged kale chips that have been smothered in ‘vegan cheese’, whatever that might be. You can buy a basket full of kale for less than that, and don’t even get me started on ‘vegan cheese’, which is an oxymoron that only someone with a marketing degree and too much time on their hands could ever come up with. Unfortunately we live in a silly world where people (especially silly vegans, who are characterized by their propensity for processed garbage that falls under the all-mighty vegan label) fall for this type of stuff. I digress.

Absolutely ridiculous!

Why are kale chips so good? Do a quick web search and it won’t take you very long to discover that kale is literally one of the best things you can eat from a health standpoint. To call it a super-food would drastically undersell its benefits. Combine this with the fact that when roasted at very low heat, kale transforms into a crispy delicious treat, and you begin to see why I love them so much. Here is the problem. Food manufacturers have jumped on the bandwagon and begun to produce prepackaged versions of a treat that is ridiculously easy to make at home. They then feel the need to slobber them with flavorings that destroy the texture of the chip, while completely undermining the taste of the kale itself. If you aren’t really a cook you can still make kale chips. If you have never ever cooked a single thing in your life, you can still make kale chips. If you absolutely hate food that is healthy for you, I encourage you to try these at once. You can thank me later.

There are untold numbers of recipes for kale chips floating around the world. Food sites, blogs, and books have all presented their take on the subject, but many fall short in an area that I think is very important—technique. Recipes are inherently useless if you don’t understand the nuances of cooking or the things that really make a difference in any given process. I am fortunate to have had many opportunities to both cook and read material on the subject, which fosters a basic sense of what should be happening in the course of a preparation. But I am all too aware of how many people do not have this same understanding. This lack of technical knowledge is what prevents so many people from making successful attempts at cooking. It is what breeds fear about the outcomes, or a lack of even knowing where to start. There was a time when people learned technique side by side in the kitchen with someone who had more experience. Many people today never had this, and few are willing to go through the process of teaching themselves through literature, trial, and error. Therefore I will write this recipe with the person who has never cooked in mind. Put a bowl of these out at your Super Bowl party and watch them disappear after the skeptical are converted.

The Best Kale Chips

2 Bunches of Kale

Olive Oil

Salt

Pepper

Herbs and/or spices

1. Separate the leaves of kale and lay them flat on a cutting board. Cut along each side of the stalk/stem to release the actual leaf from the tough stalk. Now chop the leafy greens into chip size pieces, or whatever size you would like to produce. Repeat with all the kale. (The final product is very crispy and lends itself to bite size pieces. If the chips are so large that people try to bite them in half, there can be a bit of a mess.)

2. It is time to wash the kale. Place the chopped leaves in a large bowl (you will probably have to work in batches) and run under cold water. Agitate the leaves under the water to make sure they are free of dirt or particles. Drain the kale. You can dry the kale in a salad spinner, or shake it vigorously until it is semi-dry, then place it on a clean kitchen towel. It is imperative that you get as much moisture off the leaves as possible. Whenever you want something to brown or caramelize, a dry surface is imperative. (That goes for everything from a steak to potatoes) I like to spin the leaves, then lay them out on a kitchen towel for a bit to air dry, insuring that they will roast properly.

3. Preheat the oven to 275 F.

4. Place the dry leaves in a large dry bowl. Sprinkle with a tablespoon or two of olive oil and toss them around with your hands. You don’t want the leaves wet like a dressed salad, which will weigh them down. Instead, you want a very light sheen on all the leaves. Start with a bit of oil, and you can always add more if you need to. (If you do add too much oil, add more kale to disperse it amongst more leaves) Sprinkle the kale with a bit of salt and pepper. At this point go easy on the salt, as we will finish them with seasoning when they emerge from the oven.

5. Place the kale on a baking sheet in a single even layer. Don’t overcrowd the pan, so if need be, cook the chips in several batches.

6. Place the kale in the oven and bake for twenty minutes.

7. When the twenty minutes is up, test one of the kale chips for crispness. You are looking for a crisp, almost brittle texture, but without any real dark spots. Taste one. If the chips aren’t done yet put them back on the oven to continue baking. My chips typically take 25-30 minutes, but different varieties of kale and overall moisture content can affect the length of baking time.

8. Check the kale every few minutes to achieve the desired crispness, but make sure that they don’t begin to burn, which will produce a carbon taste that is unpleasant.

9. When the kale is done, remove the baking sheets from the oven, and allow to cool. Taste the kale and add salt. I like mine salty like a potato chip, but your preference is your preference.(If you are trying to avoid salt for some reason, you still have a few options.Low-salt Mrs. Dash or other spice blend would work, as would a little splash of vinegar if you like a little tang.)  Not enough salt? Add a little and taste again. At this time you could also add a scant sprinkle of cayenne for heat, a sprinkle of thyme, or leave them as is. Just please don’t cover them in ‘vegan cheese’.

10. If you store the chips, place them in a paper bag or a container that will allow a bit of air to get in. I have found that storing them in a container that is air tight can lead to a loss of crispness. Enjoy!